As you might know, there was a heatwave in Europe last week. We reached an all time high of 40c yesterday in Amsterdam (I wrote this last Friday, I needed to instantly write down the rant I had in my head). I hate heat, but I hate bras even more.
I recently came to the realisation that I only wear bras for my male colleagues, their productivity and (to prevent) their male gaze OR when I want my boobs to look bigger when I wear a certain dress. I even figured out bras are not necessary during yoga, yoga is much more comfortable without!
So naturally when I just decided to walk through the oh so accepting and safe city of Amsterdam , I did not wear a bra. It was too hot for those damn things (unless you’re @florencegiven #lewkbyfloss and only wear the bra with perhaps a blazer on top). My style of dressing was more butch than femme, simply because I wanted to be comfortable. Hiking shoes, hippie pants, black tanktop and the mirrored glasses which don’t show my eyes, so I can avoid eye contact when I feel like it. In my eyes I did not dress sexy or provocative (and what if I did?) and yet there were 3 (!!!!) men during a 2 hour walk that felt the need to comment on my boobs. This really pissed me off.
In my head I replied to the 3 men: “Did I share them with you? Did you deserve the right to speak about my breasts? Did I ask your opinion?” I had the feeling these men were not necessarily evil, but they just don’t know any better. I wasn’t hurt, but was just wondering why do I (we, but cannot speak for all women and only for myself) put up with this inpolite shit? Why did I shut up and just continued walking? If any of the men would have simply greeted me, said hello, or started a respectful conversation, I would have answered them.
I often feel blessed for being born and having grown up here in this amazingly safe city of Amsterdam and can not imagine how mych worse this gets in other places.
Moms, please educate your sons so in the future our daughters won’t have to deal with this behavior anymore. Please teach your sons to be respectful. Men, please think before you speak. Your words can have effect on a woman.