The woman
How do your loved ones, your family, how do they deal with you being away all the time?
My family, not so good in the beginning, it was very difficult for them to accept it. I was 17 when I auditioned for Amsterdam and left Spain, but at the end they actually saw there is no way to change my mind, so they accepted it.
And besides your family, of course they take you as you are, but is it possible to have a love life?
Ah the love life… this is not easy. I won’t lie, it’s really not easy. It’s very difficult to find somebody that can understand that you are away so often and that can actually understand that in a way, playing is always going to come first and that sometimes you really want to be alone in “your box”. There must be someone with such a strong connection with you that your lifestyle shouldn’t be able to affect your feelings, there must be a big understanding between each other. Something like that.
It does exist, but it’s rare to find. If you find it, you should really take care of it and not take it superficially because you are being really lucky, it’s a present of life.
The other option is of course to have a long list of lovers everywhere! Also possible of course! Haha!
So the playing comes first, can you describe your relationship with your instrument?
Hahaha…well, this one is one of those strong relationships, and a very difficult one as well. It is not an instrument that plays how I want it to be played, it plays how he wants to be played, so ..
…so it’s like a normal relationship…?
…yes…. I call him my husband because is the only one I have a total commitment with. I was playing on much less quality Double basses before this instrument fell in my hands. When I saw it, I had the opportunity to try it first; it took me two seconds to fell in love with the sound (with his soul). I didn’t stop until I got it for myself.
When it was mine already, and I started to spend a lot of time with him, I felt there was only space for him and not for me. I got tired of always being flexible and I stopped playing it after a while. I put it in a case in a corner in my place and went back to my old bass, the one I had before. It took me three months to return to him… Now we are doing better, not perfect, but better and at least we didn’t divorce again.
But then it’s actually a love/hate relationship?
I don’t think it’s a love/hate relationship. This is an instrument from 1854 with very particular and peculiar characteristics. I was very young when it came to me, I didn´t want to understand him, I wanted him to understand me only, that’s what basically happened.
Really young? What is your age now?
I’m 24.
Music takes a lot of time of your life, would you ever give up playing for for example a family life?
I will not give away playing for anything or anyone. I just can’t imagine my life without playing. I think if I would stop playing I would stop being me. It’s something that is totally out of the question for me. I don´t really understand why should I give up playing for having a family.
I hope it’s possible to have both. Honestly, to stop or do less of what I´m doing now, I think it will drag me into a depression, I will stop feeling alive. As far as I know myself I have always preferred to feel fully alive than half dead.
Did playing ever cause you a break up or the end of a relationship? Did you sacrifice someone you loved for the music?
Yes..
So you spent quite some years in Holland already, Do you feel Dutch in something already? Did something change?
Well, when you move country there is always something that changes. It’s true, I left Spain, but Spain is not out of my soul or heart.
What else do you do besides playing music?
Well, I have a lot of hobbies. Now I enjoy swimming very much. I love dancing salsa and listening to rap music. One thing I really love is research of the Italian music of the 17th and beginning of the 18th century, not only the music, painting, writing and sculptures, I find the Italian 17th and 18th century amazing, I share this passion with a friend violin player who is really crazy about it as well. I also enjoy collecting antique books, this is something I do together with my father. I love Ducati’s but it’s not really possible to drive them in Holland.
Favourite place in this world?
Number one in my list is still the Eolie islands in Sicily; definitely a paradise not to be found.
Favourite person in this world?
Hahaha….. very smart question, well fitted. Haha..
Is there a difference between the woman and the musician? Are they two? Or only one?
It’s a difficult question… In my love relationships I always put them far away of my “musical part” because I like to have two different worlds, I find my balance like that. I do not like to feel that the other person can step into my ideas or my musical world.
The person who will be with me, he will know me as a woman but can´t really step in my other world. I have only one world for that person, but for myself I do like to live in two. I don´t find it very comfortable if the person who is with me in a relationship, tries to step too much in the other world, because I would feel like I’d have no space… I do need a space, which is only mine, and no one goes in or out, except me. I need that for my personal balance, I do like to feel alone in one of them.
I think in my case, I have two mental chips. One for the feelings of the person I love, which I never mix with my feelings for playing. I dislike it a lot when personal gets connected with profession, I do not even enjoy to talk much about the ideas of the concert or what I think or worries me professionally with the person I’m in a relationship with. I know there are people that can talk and share and discuss everything coming up in their mind with their boyfriend of girlfriend. I would like that the person I love can create one world “for us” and the “musical world” is solely mine.
What inspires you? Do you have a musical idol that you follow or references?
What inspires me? Well, the people I work with, who can bring you a lot of new ideas and new references and inspiration and the love for music and my own instrument. I don´t really have what is called a “musical idol”. I think if you have what is called an “idol” it means that you want to imitate and follow this persons’ steps and manners in all ways and in everything he or she does, which I find limiting for your own development, but I do pick up ideas from other players.
What fulfils you the most in life?
Well of course playing is really a big part of it because when I play it really makes my soul totally full. To give a concert, gives me a full feeling. Sometimes it seems that I don’t need more, but I’m human as well, so yes I do need more, so… concerts, my family and my friends and the people that love me, and I love back. The Love for the people who love you and you love back can move you as fast as the energy of a concert.
to be continued…
Uxía Martinez Botana – photo by Victor Gil Gazapo
